My last life coach training teleconference course commences on August 10. Although I will continue training life coaches I am not sure if I will continue training is this way so I am leaving the door open. The homestudy program will be renamed correspondence course and will continue to be available to coaches and students to support them. I am taking a little time out to relax and renew myself.

The meditation course held last month was a great success and the participants commented on how much they got out of the course. If you are interested in teaching meditation, or enhancing your own knowledge of meditation this program can be purchased in our online store.

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Choose to be Kind Rather Than Right

Every time you criticise another you have missed an opportunity to be kind.

Neale Donald Walsch said, “that it is nice to let someone who admits an error feel better after doing so...not feel worse.” I so agree with that statement and if I could add a postscript it would be, “use your words to support others to feel better about themselves for having spent time with you”.

I was recently on the receiving end of verbal barrage of criticism from a very angry man. This criticism was so unexpected and unjustified that it left me struggling to regain my equilibrium. While on an intellectual level I know that other people’s criticism or comments tell me more about them than me, it’s a very rare person who is not affected by another person’s actions. The gift that I’ve received from this man and people who have criticised me is an increased awareness that my words can hurt another person and that is not who I choose to be.

I believe that one of the main reasons that I have a high success rate at helping my clients is because my intention is to leave everyone feeling better about themselves for having worked with me. My aim as a coach and teacher is to offer unconditional acceptance to my clients, students and readers. It’s easy for me to see beyond a person’s limiting beliefs and fears to see their full potential and sometimes that is all a person needs, someone to believe in them.

However, there have been times when I’ve sought help myself and I’ve been told what I should do, or what I’m doing wrong. In most of these cases my values or standards have differed from the other person and I’ve left feeling frustrated because rather than trying to help me they tried to change me.

Different people have different beliefs and different standards. In some cultures children stay at home until they marry and if they don’t marry they continue to live in the family home. One side of my family lived with an open door policy and offered shelter to anyone who needed it. My cousins lived at home until they married, and some were well into their thirties before this happened. In our family that was considered normal, yet some people judge others because their children don't leave home at eighteen or soon after. Taking time to understand another person’s point of view and respecting the differences between us enhances everyone’s life.

Since I’ve been working with archetypes I’ve come to understand that not everyone has a natural inclination to being kind. People with the king/queen archetype for instance often feel entitled and need to remind themselves to be kind or considerate. Some perfectionists also tend to be very critical and as this is such natural behaviour for them they often don’t realise the impact their words have on others. Offering unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t help someone see where they go off track, or how they use their energy to create what they don’t want. It’s not always about what you say but how you say it.

Being kind is a great way to be but it's not an invitation to allow other people to abuse you or treat you like a door mat. You act kindly towards yourself by setting standards. Setting and enforcing your standards is how you teach people how to treat you. Remember you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness as well.

SUCCESS TIP

The following exercise can be done throughout the day whenever you find you are stuck in your intellect, or need a creative solution to a problem, or if you have problems sleeping and switching the mind off.

When we feel anxious the lungs fill with carbon dioxide and it becomes difficult to introduce oxygen, this happens in the case of panic attacks. Alternate nostril breathing helps exhale the carbon dioxide from the body and makes room for oxygen which allows you to relax. The less breaths we take is said to increase our longevity.

Often we breathe through one nostril more than another without realising it. When the left nostril is blocked and you breathe through the right nostril the left side of the brain becomes more active, which is the analytical side. To engage the right hemisphere of the brain, which is the creative side, breathe through the left nostril.

If you have trouble sleeping, or being creative, check which nostril is open then breathe through the opposite.

1. Using one hand close off the right hand nostril and breathe through the left.
2. Switch nostrils, close off the left nostril and breathe in through the right.

This exercise strengthens the nervous system and helps you to gain control your mind and your body. It also increases mental alertness. Remember, this is an exercise that can be carried out for a few minutes at a time during the day whenever you feel stressed or need a lift.

Extract Meditation Teacher’s Course by Anne Hartley available in my online shop.

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Learning from the Young and the Old

The Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has attracted world wide attention but little credit is given to the good which can come from such a situation. Olivia Bouler, an 11 year old girl from Long Island, used this tragedy as an opportunity to make a difference.

Like many people Olivia was upset when she saw photos of rescued birds covered in oil and she decided to do something about it. She looked at her talents and decided that as she was a good drawer she could sell some bird drawings to make money to help rescue more birds.

Olivia’s drawings have made $10,000 to rescue birds and restore their native habitat. She has over 16,000 followers on Facebook. Many adults would doubt themselves and their ability but children like Olivia highlight the potential which is within all of us.

I was also so taken with this story that I wanted to share it with you. Ivy Bean a 104 year old woman lived in London and died recently, at the time of her death she had 57,000 followers on twitter and she tweeted daily. Ivy originally had a Facebook page but found the limit of 25,000 followers too restrictive so she switched to Twitter. She tweeted at one time that she was a fan of Peter Andre and when the singer heard this he contacted her and sent her flowers daily while she was in hospital. It just goes to show you are never too old.

BOOK REVIEWS

Life Among The Dead
Lisa Williams
Hay House

Lisa Williams was four years old when she discovered she could communicate with dead people but even though her grandmother was a gifted psychic Lisa’s family just thought she had a vivid imagination so it wasn’t until Lisa was an adult that she started understanding and using her gift.

This book is an autobiography of Lisa’s life to date. The challenges she has faced, the health crises and how her career took off once she started following her heart.

I love Lisa Williams so this book for me was of particular interest. I liked her before I started reading it and I loved her at the end. A really good read.

Serendipity is published by Anne Hartley
annehartley.com.au email anne@hartlifecoaching.com.au
Ph: 61 2 9940 1575