change your life

To Change Your Life Change Yourself

There is no truer saying than, If you keep doing the same things you will keep getting the same results. The end or the beginning of a year is always a great time of year to reflect and review if there is anything you need to do to change your life, and if you feel tempted to use the excuse that you don’t have time be aware that that choice does not value you. Reflection is something you can do prior to going to sleep, while you exercise or drive your car. It’s not something that you need to have a lot of time for, just a regular quiet time.

A client I once worked with said, ‘I can’t understand why my life works sometimes and at other times it doesn’t matter what I do, or how hard I work, nothing seems to work out for me. I am positive. I watch my thoughts. I watch my words. I’m not perfect but most of the time I’m congruent.’ Congruence in this instance means that your thoughts, words and actions support your life choices.

What really frustrated this woman was her boss who made so much money when he was a negative, inconsiderate man. My client said, ‘I don’t want to take his success away from him. I don’t want his life. I just want to understand why someone like him who is always talking poor, who treats people badly, who does no work on himself, can prosper, while I, who work so hard at being the best me I can, struggle. Where is the justice in that?’

Most people believe at some level that if they are good they should be rewarded but life doesn’t work on a reward system. The laws of the universe work the same for everyone, there is no judgement as to who is worthy and who is not. Instead of focusing on what she wanted to create my client focused on resentment towards her boss, a touch of envy, and the frustration she felt that she did not have the resources to live her life the way she wanted.

Every single thing in life is energy. If someone who is in a bad mood walks into a room, you can feel it. If a couple who just had an argument go out with you, you can generally feel the tension between them, just as a happy optimistic person can brighten another person’s day. Even when you put on a good front people unconsciously pick up on your energy.

Emotions such as anger or sadness can be positive or negative, feeling sad is a transitory emotion and can be healing, but it’s hard to find the positive in emotions such as frustration, envy and resentment unless you use them to change you.

To change your life observe your emotions over a couple of days, look at what triggers your downward spirals or causes you to feel stressed, it is very easy to gloss over, or bury emotions which we find unacceptable.

Look at what is missing in your life to cause you to feel this way then take responsibility for fulfilling that need. Now I am fully aware that some of your desires may be beyond your reach right now, but it is amazing how things can change when you choose to believe that you can have what you want. At first it is just a choice, but support that choice with your thoughts, words, emotions and actions then opportunities will come your way to help you turn that choice into a reality.

It may seem easy for me to say those words but I know it’s true. When I lived on the poverty line when my children were young, I dreamed of a better future. When I rented a nice home, I dreamed of owning my own home. When I owned my first home I dreamed of living in a beautiful area by the sea. All of those dreams came true. Those dreams did not come from dissatisfaction, I was very grateful for what I had, they came from a desire for a greater level of comfort, ease and beauty and through actively choosing those things for myself I became a bigger, better person.

If you find yourself feeling resentful because other people have more than you do, look at what you can do to improve your situation. Make a conscious choice to check in on how you are really feeling regularly. When you live in a flowing energy state you flow with life, you do the best you can, you take responsibility and you actively work towards your goals in a relaxed way. And, often when you do this, synchronicity occurs, and you draw people and opportunities to you.

If you want to change your life – change yourself.

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