Sometimes things don’t go the way we plan. A woman trained with me in 2001, when life coaching was just starting to become known. She had worked in her own physiotherapy practice for years and wanted to change direction, however, even though she got some clients she was never able to build her business to the level that she desired. A few years later she decided to retrain and become a Scenar therapist, which is used for pain relief. She said to me one day, ‘I often wondered why I trained with you and couldn’t get a business started, now I know why. While I am helping to relieve my client’s pain I often find that I am coaching them. What I wanted just came in a different way to what I expected.’
During the nineties the concept of designing a life was very popular, and while I am all in favour of choosing what you want and going for it, I also know that life doesn’t always go the way we plan. I never planned to become a life coach, in fact they were unheard of when I started working. I never expected to own a training school, my passion was for writing and publishing. I only started training life coaches because a number of people asked me to and my daughter kept urging me to do it and I couldn’t think of anything better at the time. Training life coaches was only ever supposed to be a short term career for me, yet nearly 20 years later that career choice has brought me more fulfilment than anything else I have done over my working life.
Often people say to me they made a decision because they got a sign, and I am not against following your intuition, but it is also very easy to confuse fear with signs. If we all gave up or changed direction at the first sign of a setback we wouldn’t go far in life. There have been times when my business has gone backwards and I’ve wondered if I was being given a sign to change direction. What I always do whenever I am unsure is check in with my heart. If I love what I’m doing I usually persist. If I am unsure I meditate and ask questions. Most of the time I find that I am feeling resentful or overwhelmed and my focus has shifted off what I want to create. Or, sometimes there is a fear I need to let go of, or there might be a better way to do what I’m doing. Most of the time all I need to do is shift my focus and reassess my daily habits.
When life doesn’t go the way you plan remember, problems can either be stepping stones which help you uncover your gifts or, they can keep you stuck in your fears.