Letting go is one of the most important things you can do, once you have done all you can.
When we want something badly we often cling to it, and can become fearful that we won’t get it. The energy we emit is full of fear. Without realising it, other people pick up on our emotions and react accordingly, often bringing about the very thing we fear.
Most people would have had the experience of trying to coerce someone to do something only to have them resist and do just the opposite. Children are particularly adept at this this. Then, just when you decide it’s not worth the effort and you start letting go, they do what you wanted them to do.
One of my clients was going through a difficult divorce. She was entitled to a large divorce settlement but was afraid that she would not get it. At least once a day she rang me, as well as her solicitor, accountant, and numerous friends. She kept going over the same things time and again, and it cost her a fortune in professional fees.
I suggested many times that she had done all she could and she needed to let go of the result, but she could not. As a consequence, a large proportion of the divorce settlement went on unnecessary fees, and she caused herself a lot of unnecessary anxiety.
It’s easy to say let go but not always so easy to do in reality, yet there will be no long-lasting peace or happiness until you learn this most important step. The inability to let go is only fear reflected from subconscious beliefs, in which case you will have to do some more work on changing those beliefs. Are your actions based on fear or faith?
Once your subconscious has been impressed with a certain image you can easily let it go, you don’t even have to visualise or affirm any more, it is already yours. However, you may get something different to what you asked for.
A woman wanted to buy a certain house but everything went wrong. The buyers for her house withdrew, she could not afford bridging finance, there were problems with a shared driveway. Still, she wanted this particular house desperately and in her mind she could see herself living there. The sale fell through. Not long after, another property came along that was far more suitable and had no problems. Everything ran smoothly this time and she was so grateful that she did not get her first choice.
Letting go of control
Most of us feel more secure when we are in control. Although some people may have the best intentions, and the best interest of others at heart, this often turns into manipulation. For instance, I have had mothers say to me ‘how can I make my son or daughter do your course?’ You can’t. You can encourage, but cannot force your will upon another, even your children.
When visualising or affirming for yourself, see the end result, not how you are going to get it. Ask for what you want, but be prepared for not always getting it in the way that you imagine, there may be something better for you. This happened to me when I wanted a particular job.
At the interview I was told that I had the job, but they had made prior arrangements to see one more person. A few days later I received a phone call to say they had accepted the other person. I was annoyed and disappointed believing that I was perfect for the job. I had a lot of trouble mentally letting go of that job and kept expecting them to ring and say the other person hadn’t worked out and it was mine.
Twelve months later the same man rang and offerred me another position which led to my current one. Once I knew more about the firm I realised that the original job would not have suited me at all and there would have been a personality clash. That would have eliminated my opportunity to do the work I really love.
When something is meant for you things fall into place of their own accord. If everything goes wrong it does not necessarily mean it is not meant to be, it could be your unconscious beliefs coming to the surface, or, it may be your intuition pointing you in another direction. The best guidance you can get comes from your own inner voice. If you allow it to guide you, you will always be in the right place at the right time.
I don’t always find it easy to let go, so I sometimes use a technique that was recommended to me. In a state of meditation, visualise your goal, then imagine placing this goal and all the people concerned with it into a pink bubble and let it go. See the bubble float off to the clouds like a balloon. Keep doing this until you feel that you mean it. You can then cease visualising and affirming, knowing that what is rightfully yours, either the image you’ve created, or something better, will come to you.
Sometimes we insist on having our dreams fulfilled right now, and at times the time is not right. At one time I had just moved into a larger office in the city, paid for the telephone system to be installed and for extra furniture and signed a new lease. Within weeks I was told that the building had been sold and was given two months notice. Although I had signed the lease, the owners said that they had not signed their copy, I was fuming.
At first I thought of taking legal action but decided that there was little point and I must be meant to go elsewhere. I searched for weeks and found nothing to my liking, so reluctantly I took up an offer from the owners to relocate to an office on the other side of the harbour. My main concern was that I would lose business once I was away from the central business district.
I couldn’t have been more mistaken. Rather than lose business, it increased. Parking was easier for clients and I got the office that I had always visualised, with harbour views. It was on a different side of the harbour, but the view was spectacular.
Within a short period I moved house to the other side of the harbour as well. Instead of taking an hour to reach the office it took twenty minutes, which proved to be a Godsend, as I had a baby at that time. As a bonus the new owners offered me half rent for six months and because Telstra made a number of errors when installing the new phones, I wasn’t charged for that as well. I made a profit.
If your dream involves another person and many do, even in a non-personal way, then the other person involved may have to do something first. If you have ever searched for your dream home to no avail, maybe you need to wait until the current owners sell. Once you feel confident in your own mind that you have done all you can, and you can feel that is already yours, forget it.
Letting Go and Your Daily routine
When you set a daily routine that supports you to move towards the life you want, it is easier to let go because we still feel as if we are doing something.
A routine could consist of reading or study time. A period of meditation can become a permanent part of your life, a chance to relax, as well as giving you the opportunity to create mental images of your life the way you want it to be. This gives you time for reading or researching, and a time to dream and create. This routine could take ten minutes or half an hour, or even longer. Half an hour a day is not much. Most of us waste at least that each day, but over a year it adds up to 182 hours. That is 182 hours of focused energy on what you want. Who said they had no time?
Make a time clock and write in the times of day that you will devote to achieving your goal. Put it in a prominent place, so that others in the family will know that this is your time.
Be prepared to act
Use your time constructively and make a commitment to yourself. I cannot stress this enough. There are people who go from course to course, looking for someone else to solve their problems. Once they finish, they do nothing, then wonder why their life has not changed. All they have done is gained little more than entertainment, and a big dent in their savings.
There are no easy answers. Affirmations work, visualisation works, but you have to be prepared. I could not visualise this book in print if I was not prepared to put in the time writing it. Taking action at the appropriate time is the difference between success and failure.
Then when you have done all that you can let it go.